


So It Begins

by 100percentfluffster



Series: Begin Again Bunker Family [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Soulbonds, Asexual Relationship, Charlie Bradbury Lives, F/M, Kevin Tran Lives, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sam Being an Asshole, Supportive Castiel, Supportive Gabriel, This is a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 13:08:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10308653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100percentfluffster/pseuds/100percentfluffster
Summary: Dean is dealing with the mark of Cain as well as his brother, Sam, getting out of the game and marrying Amelia.Gabriel and Castiel have an idea to save Dean from the pull of the mark. Soul bonding with Castiel will hopefully hold the mark's power at bay, and give Dean a second chance for a childhood. Only this time, the angels are determined to make it exactly what Dean has always deserved.But can he let himself accept that? What about Kevin and Charlie? Everyone? Will the angels convince him or will he run away from the last hope of his family's survival?





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this universe, the mark of Cain was never removed and the Darkness never escaped. That said, most of the rest of canon is still supported in this universe but the angels didn't fall. I mostly ignore whatever I don't like.  
> Sam Winchester left the hunting life to marry Amelia, keeping in minimal contact with those at the bunker, whilst Dean continues hunting and dealing with the mark.  
> Sam is pretty much an asshole, so if that upsets you....but Sam/Amelia are off screen only for this fic.

Castiel follows Dean into the bunker and winces as the door is slammed shut. Dean huffs and stomps down the stairs and away to his room. Gabriel raises an eyebrow at his brother in question and Castiel sighs as he goes to sit next to the past trickster.

“Another bad hunt?” Gabriel asks.

Castiel nods slowly as he says, “Successful but violent.”

“So the normal as of now?”

“Has Sam called?”

Gabriel huffs out a bitter laugh and shakes his head, “Nah. I called him. Says he’s looking, but I’ve been watching him, Cas. He ain’t trying at all.”

“He’s gotten out of the life, Gabe. That’s what he’s always wanted, and he should be allowed to take his time with it.” Castiel looks unsure of his own words and Gabe just looks away. There is silence between them for a long moment.

Gabe is the one to break the silence, “Would Dean run out on Sam in his time of need?”

“He did bring us a solution.”

“Yeah, from the book of the damned! It will release the darkness. She’s a myth from heaven, and Dean is right, we can’t risk that. We don’t even know if we can pull it off right.”

Castiel nods and Gabe can see the despair in his brother’s expression. He’s starting to feel it himself. Dean and the others have become family in the last few months, where they’ve been weathering the aftermath of Abaddon and the others from the safety and comfort of the bunker.

Gabriel had never seen Dean free from a hunt or a heat of the moment situation. But on the days where Dean is stronger than the mark, and his mind is clear… He’s found that the righteous man is one of the only individuals, human or angel, that can keep up with him. It hurts to watch both Dean and Castiel fight the mark with everything they’ve got.

Gabriel clears his throat loudly and snaps Castiel from his thoughts, which are most likely running down a similar path as his own. “There is another possibility,” Gabe says with a purposeful lightness to his tone.

Castiel’s eyes flick up to his in confusion, but a moment later comprehension sweeps over his face. Gabriel reaches out with his grace and brushes against his brother’s to both calm Castiel and to show how serious he is himself.

“He’d never agree,” Castiel says.

Gabe scoffs and shakes his head, “I wouldn’t assume that, lil bro. You’re his exception. You always have been. You two boys are ridiculously in love, it’s sickening to watch. He’s been completely loyal and caring and...frustrated with you since _purgatory_. You two even made it official with our father!” Gabriel takes a moment to compose himself before he adds one more statement, “He may not agree at first, but if there was ever a reason that would make him say yes, it would be you, lil bro.”

Castiel swallows hard but a soft smile is on his face. Dean and him have been inseparable since Purgatory. They’ve laid everything out between them and they’ve finally come together the way that they’ve wanted for years. “You know what this could do, right?”

“More than you, I assure you.”

“He could die. We don’t know if it will work.” Castiel pauses for only a moment before he adds, “And if it did, do you really think he’d want to be tethered to me like that? He’d be even less human than he is right now!”

Gabriel shrugs and says, “He’s stuck by you so far, and through some really bad shit.”

Castiel smiles again at his memories and he sighs as he rests his head in his hands at the table.

“You have to talk to him,” Gabriel pushes. “He’s getting more and more short tempered. He could lash out and do something he’ll regret for the rest of his life. Do you know how often he thinks of turning the blade on himself, anyway?”

Castiel cringes and lifts his head, “Of course I do, Gabriel. I’ve talked him out of it every other night. I help him deal with the nightmares at night, that would have killed any other man by now.”

Gabriel smiles with a bitter twist of his lips, “Then you know that this is his last option, before he starts rapidly falling into the mark. He’s holding on by his nails right now, and once he starts the descent, I don’t think there’s any pulling him back. Not this time.”

Castiel sighs and agrees. He then heads directly to Dean’s room.

 


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel takes strength from his brother and approaches the righteous man.

Dean looks up when Castiel enters the room and he growls that ‘he wants to be alone’. Castiel doesn’t reply and sits at the foot of the bed, opposite of Dean. The man is propped up on the headboard, legs spread out in front of him. Castiel snaps, and the heavy duty headphones Dean is wearing are gone. Dean looks up with a startled and mad expression. 

Castiel speaks before Dean can get a sound out, “I can save you.”

Dean’s mouth is hanging open from his aborted attempt to speak and his eyes are wide as he takes that statement in. “What?” 

Castiel sighs and repeats, “I can save you. But only if you let me.”

Dean rolls his eyes, “Is this another pep talk Cas? I love you, but they’re getting old.”

Cas moves slightly closer to Dean, his body between his ankles now and says, “No. I’m serious, Dean. I think I can block you from the influence of the mark. Or at least make it manageable. But the process is… not something you’ll like. Or you won’t want to do it now, you may feel differently in the future.”

“What are you talking about, Cas? Spit it out.”

“I’m talking a soul bond.” Cas moves again so he’s between Dean’s thighs now and he leans forward carefully laying a small simple kiss to Dean’s lips. “I could bind you to my grace, and it would, hopefully, be enough to keep the violence inside you at bay.”

Dean closes his eyes at the kiss, and leaves his heavy lids closed for a moment before looking Cas hard in the eye. “What’s it entail?” 

“There are several steps. They could kill you, but if it all goes right, I’ll be able to heal your soul, and then sew my grace into it. We will be able to feel our emotions, to tap energy from each other, to always know where the other is. It’s a deep connection, Dean.”

Dean shakes his head but his eyes hold a desperate hope. “Are these soul bonds common?”

Castiel shakes his head gravely and says, “They’re rarer than nephilim.”

Dean lets out a half hearted whistle but finds his eyes falling to his hands. They are clenched tightly together and Castiel can see the man’s jaw tighten. They are silent for several minutes, and Castiel debates interrupting the silence, but chooses to give Dean the freedom to mull through his thoughts. 

“Why do you think I won’t want it?” Dean asks with genuine confusion. 

“Because the process can be...very involved.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Dean, I will have to heal your soul. When I first found you in hell, I put you back together and I bandaged your soul before putting it back in your body. But it was a patch job at best, even through hell, your soul didn’t fully break at any moment. But since you came back from purgatory….”

Dean chokes out a sound as he tries to speak, “You mean, when Sammy gave up on me?”

Castiel swallows but continues, “Sam didn’t look for you. It’s true. He’s become angrier and angrier with the hunting life. He’s left for Amelia. You feel that he chooses anyone over you now, and he doesn’t consider you family anymore.  _ That _ is what  _ broke _ you. I could see your soul start to fragment and break into pieces. If I don’t interfere, your soul will be destroyed and all that will be left is the hot rage of the mark. But you, Dean. You’ve never been given what you deserve. Ever since your mom burned, you’ve been an adult with too much responsibility and suffering horrid abuse.” Castiel pauses to place a gentle hand on his love’s cheek before continuing, “I’d have to start the reconstruction, the healing, at the beginning.”

“The beginning?” Dean asks with a shaky voice. 

“Have you ever heard of Age Play?”

Dean visibly flinches back and says, “That’s some kinky shit, Cas. What we have not enough for you? I’ve told you I don’t or need sex in this relationship. Not now not ever. I love what we have, Cas. Romance without the physical chores. I feel closer to you than anyone else. Ever. Calling you daddy isn’t gonna change my mind.”

Castiel’s eyebrows furrow and he sits silent for a moment before comprehension hits him, then he quickly goes to reassure Dean, who has a heartbreakingly haunted expression. “No, no, Dean. I love you and us the way we are. I would love you the same if we did have sex. But this isn’t a sexual kink. You are more important to me than any of that. Our love, our profound bond, it is what fills the holes inside of my own grace. Of my own mind. I’m perfectly content with kisses and touching and sleeping side by side. I’ve never been happier, Dean.”

Dean looks at his blue eyes and Castiel can see tears filling the man’s own eyes. Castiel nods and leans forward to press an urgent and long kiss to Dean’s temple. The man leans into the comfort and Castiel pulls away after a moment to say, “I love you, Dean. Since the moment I touched your soul in hell.” 

Dean wipes his face and asks, “So what then?”

“You’d be reverted back to the time of the first crack of your soul. I will have to start from the beginning. The very beginning, otherwise down the road, your soul will fall apart again.” 

“Okay, so?”

Castiel sighs in frustration and uncertainty, “Dean. The beginning for you is....I’m guessing around the age of four? It’s not necessarily a criterion, but most bondees revert back to the age where the cracks started. Your mind and soul will feel safer and heal in the younger mindset…”

Dean blinks a few times and says sharply, “What? The hell, Cas? You mean I’d turn into a child??”

Castiel tilts his head to the side and speaks haltingly, “In a way, yes. Though you would also remain you. Your body, your mind as is. But it’s best for you to fall into younger habits. I will give you what you’ve been missing, and in that way I can fill the cracks inside you.”

Dean scoffs and says, “No way. I’m not a kid!”

“Exactly, Dean. You never have been. Not really. Think of your childhood as the infrastructure of your soul. I can’t build it back up again, unless the foundation is strong.”

Dean leers and says, “So what? I call you Daddy and you spank the bitterness out of me?”

Castiel sighs and his head drops slightly. “No. I will never lay a hand on you like that. You would call me daddy, but only because it will feel right to you. I will care for you, and allow you the affection and freedom you deserve. I want to give you what you need. You just have to let me.” 

Dean’s eyes go to the ceiling as he shakes his head in disbelief and says, “No. Cas, I can’t. You can’t.”

Castiel expected the answer, but not the shake in Dean’s voice. “Why not, Dean? Good things do happen.” 

“Not in my experience, Cas.” 

“What are you so scared of?”

Castiel waits for a response, but when Dean’s eyes remain on the ceiling and his expression hidden from the angel, Castiel reaches forward and gently guides his head back down and catches the green eyes with his own. “What is it, Dean? I can feel your soul yearning for this.”

Dean scoffs and Castiel watches a few ambitious tears fall down his face. “I can’t do it, Cas.”

Castiel frowns and says, “Is it me? You would be bound to me for your life, and I understand if you--”

Dean’s eyes widen at the question and he lunges forward and presses a hard kiss to the other’s lips. He slows it down and opens his mouth as Castiel does the same, and just takes a moment to taste the angel’s lips. To revel in the feeling of contentment it creates deep inside of him. It makes the buzz of the mark on his arm dull slightly and his mind allows itself to fully enjoy. He reluctantly pulls away, though doesn’t move far from Castiel’s face. He says, “Never, Cas. Being bound to something as good as you. As pure as you, would be a blessing. But, I’m broken, as you say. I’m volatile and worthless and stupid. Sam was always the good one. The important one. I can’t drag you through your entire life, sewn to my twisted humanity... or what’s left of it.”

Castiel sighs and says, “You are worthy of this and so much more. Much more than me. I have no wings and I’ve fallen too many times to ever be who I was again. I’m damaged as well, Dean. But we can fix it. Together. You just have to trust me. Do you trust me?” 

Dean nods immediately, “Of course, Cas. More than anyone in my life.”

Castiel smiles sadly, “I know. So let me do this. I would be more than proud to have you forever bound to my essence. I would die a million times over, just to see you not forced to become a monster like Cain. I would have wanted this without your mark, but would never have had the courage to ask you.”

Castiel lifts a hand back up to Dean’s face and runs his fingers along Dean’s lips and sighs. His eyes return to Dean’s, and the man’s irises glitter heavily with unshed tears. Castiel swallows and says. “I love you Dean Winchester. The righteous man. We share something that is bigger than either of us. I will take care of you the way you should have been. I will love you for every stage of this process and help you through each, in any capacity needed. Just say yes.” 

Dean bites his lip at the instinct to immediately do so, and thinks of the last time he was demanded to say yes. Michael’s face flashes across his memories, but he pushes them aside. This isn’t Michael. This is Cas. _ His  _ angel. He has nothing to lose, he knows if things continue on the way they are, he will either lose or kill himself. 

Dean takes a deep breath and then exhales with a whispered, “Okay.”

Castiel’s eyes light up and he tries, but fails, to keep a smile off his face. “Yeah?”

Dean rolls his eyes and says, “Yes. I say yes. But only to you, Cas.”

Castiel throws himself at the man, and curls around the smaller body. Reveling in the angel’s heat and the sudden flash of light in his soul. Castiel smiles and hugs his Dean closer.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Gabriel sit Dean down to explain everything to him.

Gabriel and Castiel sit Dean down at the couch and stand in front of him, both sporting grave expressions. He shifts where he sits and swallows with tangible nerves. 

Gabe smirks and draws out the word, “Soooooo…”

Castiel scoffs and says, “Dean. Before we start this, you need to know what it will consist of.”

Gabe continues, “There are five stages to a soul bond. Many of them painful, but only for short amounts of time.”

“First is blood. You will have to drink my blood for five days.”

“The second is grace. Grace will be syphoned into your blood.”

“The third is holy oil and fire. To burn away any residue of corruption to the soul.”

“Fourth is a spell. Perhaps one of the tamest steps in the process.”

“And finally, water from the spring in heaven.”

Dean looks at them in trepidation for a moment before saying, “Okay? I can see how this could kill me. But what about the whole…. Age play… thing?”

Gabriel looks at his little brother before he answers the question for him, “Well, it’s not age play exactly, because it will happen more purely. Cassie and I have discussed this and we believe your trauma started when you were four. And the angel of the bond is responsible for reconstructing the soul of the human. Otherwise Cassie’s grace would just end up tearing it apart anyway. But he has to start at the first crack or warp of the soul. While he’s working on those, you will resort to the habits and instincts of that age. So you will most likely be viewing the world much like a four year old would. Or even younger.”

Dean clears his throat, “Okaaay. That sounds….I can’t do that, guys.”

Castiel looks at his human hard and says levely, “Yes, you can. And you will. For me. I can’t see you die or become a monster again, Dean. You said you would try.”

Dean sighs and runs his hands over his face, “I will. I just don’t think it’s gonna go the way you want.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Come now, Deano. Let your alpha male complex go for now. You don’t have to protect everyone anymore. We’re here. It’s our turn to protect you!”

Dean’s eyes narrow as he questions, “We?”

Gabriel’s hands twitch and his eyes find the floor as he pointedly ignores both Dean and Castiel. 

Castiel smiles and says, “Gabriel will be present, helping me through the process. He knows more about it than I, and he can help keep you healthy and safe. An archangel is the best deterrent to those who wish you harm, Dean.”

Dean looks down at his hands, much like Gabriel had done just a few moments earlier. His forehead is wrinkled in confusion but he says nothing for several minutes. He then slowly lifts his head and his eyes are sad and dark. He asks, “And the others? Charlie and Kevin? Claire?”

Gabriel smiles and says softer than Dean has ever heard him speak, “They’ll understand, Dean. They all know this is something you need and deserve.”

“And the bunker? Are we going to be here?”  
Castiel shakes his head and says, “No. Gabriel has already set up a place for us, but it will be connected to the bunker, so we can go from one to the other.”

Gabriel adds, “It’s your choice of course if you tell them. I would push you to share with Charlie and Kevin, so you can come and visit them. They only want what’s best for you.”

Dean nods and he collapses back into the couch, his whole body shaking visibly with fear and embarrassment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short I know, but I'm eager to get to the meat of the story.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel and Castiel explain to the other bunker inhabitants the 'plan', and the effects it may have on Dean.

Deans remains on the couch where’s he’s been sitting, making sure to keep his head down. He refuses to look at either Charlie or Kevin, who are sitting in the chairs around the couch and listening avidly to the two angels in front of them explaining what is going to happen. 

It’s not until the air stills and Dean realizes that the angel’s are done with their explanation that Dean sneaks a glance at his two younger family members. Charlie has a small smile on her lips and Kevin looks completely blown away. 

Kevin finally croaks, “What? I mean I knew the bonds existed, but I had no idea the process would de-age Dean.”

Castiel says, “Not all humans creating the bond will de-age. It all depends on their soul.”

Charlie looks over at Dean, who quickly lowers his gaze to the floor. The redhead exclaims, “Dean! I’m so happy for you! I don’t know how this will work, but I sure as hell hopes it helps you unwind.”

Dean looks up at her in surprise. “Really?” he asks. 

Charlie rolls her eyes and says, “Of course, bitch! You’ve spent too much time looking after the rest of us. You’ve run yourself ragged for...I don’t even want to think about how long. And now without Sam,” Charlie pauses and swallows heavily before quickly pushing on, “We can all be safe and relax. Abaddon is dead, and Crowley is in charge of hell. Heaven is open and the angels have returned. It’s perfect! And I’m not going to let you back out of this.”

Dean huffs out a small laugh and his eyes sparkle with some undefined emotion when he looks into his adopted little sister’s eyes. He then grunts and looks away murmuring something about chick flick moments. 

Kevin looks at him then and says, “I agree. I mean, no doubt, it’s going to take some getting used to. But, Dean, no one deserves to be helped and healed, more than you. You saved my life and was there for me whenever I needed something. Sure, I may have been forced into eating some questionable food, and you’re one moody bastard, but I’ve never felt so at home. So cared for.”

Dean blinks in confusion and asks, “I thought you hated me?”

Kevin blinks in surprise and jumps to say, “Of course not. Was I furious with my situation and thus with you? Sure. But you’ve gotten me through this whole prophet thing and like you said before, if you don’t consider us family, then I don’t know what else to do.”

Dean then smiles and he wipes his hands across his face, dispelling and hiding the tears that have started running down his face. There’s a relief deep inside him, and a hope that the mark will one day not burn through his body. He looks at the love of his life, and Castiel smiles and says, “We have a profound bond, Dean. Let me make it permanent, and let me help you.”

Dean sighs and nods. “If you insist, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perfect! Now onto the next fic. It will probably be short as well, as I'm still working out some details about the third installation. But it will be out soon. Very soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many plans for this series, and I promise it will be filled with traumatized little Dean, asshole Sam but incredibly supportive bunker family, perhaps a fuzzy protective Crowley, and amazing Gabriel and Castiel tag teaming with Dean. So stay with me and read about Dean's new beginning!  
> If you have any ideas, questions, or requests drop me a comment.


End file.
